


fire ;; komahina

by berryoblivion



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Hope and Despair, M/M, slight smut???, souda u dick cant u see hajime is having a moment, wow i cant write smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 09:41:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8367508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berryoblivion/pseuds/berryoblivion
Summary: i wrote this a month ago but whatever ;;komaeda thinks burning himself alive would cause hope and hajime doesn't really know what to think





	

fire ;;

//

his pale skin seemed unhealthy. his bones were always visible, his cheeks almost hollow.

komaeda's eyes usually sparkled with this strange desire, a desire hajime couldn't understand. the luckster was almost always cold, too. either it was his cold, cruel childhood sending shivers down his spine, or the utter despair he felt when he though about how he was worthless, how his only purpose in life was to serve hope. but, alas, hajime may just be overthinking this. maybe he was just always cold because of the lack of meat on his bones.

komaeda had always said he preferred sitting in the sun than in the shade. he would rather be burning hot than freezing cold. hajime had thought this was just his preference because of him being cold 24/7, but no. of course it had a deeper meaning.

"well, hinata-kun, in the cold you feel alone. shivering, just shaking in the dark. you're alone. freezing to death? what a hopeless way to perish," komaeda explained darkly, "but burning away like a candlewick of hope... each second is thrilling! you go numb, and then you start to shake, and then your adrenaline returns. its so hopeful!" komaeda beamed. his face was pink and he was sweating, probably from the intensity of his fascinations. burning to death. what an imagination! such demented thoughts! oh, how hopeless!

although hajime had known the albino for a while, he was still not accustomed to komaeda's crazy mind that grasped the concept of hope in such a twisted way.

its crazy. hes crazy. komaeda is crazy.

although the other students ran in fear, hajime stayed. he wanted to understand the male, he wanted to be his friend.

komaeda did seem desperate for a while, but after some time passed, komaeda realized that hajime wasn't going anywhere. their bond deepened, and they seemed happy around each other.

chiaki told him to stay alert, that you never knew what that guy was planning. you never knew what he was thinking, what he wanted to say.

izuru explained, in a grim way, that komaeda should have died long ago. "he smells of rotten flesh. like the owner of the body died long ago, yet somehow, the skin is too too fresh to turn to dust."

hajime didn't understand what he had meant. he stared at him, his eyes wide and his mouth in the shape of a small 'o'. of course, that was far later into the story. hajime started to understand as tome went on. 

he remembered the first time he kissed komaeda. its wasn't supposed to go as far as it did, but hajime couldn't help himself.

his skinny collarbones fit in his mouth perfectly, and the bruises hajime left were handsome on the albino.

komaeda went insane in the middle of it, though. his eyes clouded with insanity and his body became to shake. "you shouldn't let trash like me take this away from you," he said crazily.

hajime shook his head. "i want you to, komaeda."

"hinata-kun, i should leave."

before hajime could respond, komaeda put his jacket back on and adjusted his pants. "goodbye, hinata-kun."

that night was hopeful, just because of three words. those three words, they had only left hajime twice. once to his family when leaving, and another to komaeda.

"i love you."

hajime had surely said more 'i love you's before then, but they didn't mean much. well, they probably did, but they didn't mean the same thing. he didn't say them same way he said them to komaeda.

"i love you."

his voice was shaking. he couldn't ignore how much he wanted to say that. his words were laced with hope, a desperate hope that just wanted to be accepted. a hope that filled his soul with determination.

komaeda stopped halfway out the door. he was shaking, too. but he wasn't shaking like hajime.

he looked like a lost puppy. hajime could tell that he had messed up, that something within those words made komaeda grow scared. komaeda fell to the ground, his clouded eyes closing and his vision become lost in a sea of black. an empty color, with no meaning. 

hajime rushed forwards and pulled komaeda back onto his bed. he kicked the cottage door so it would close with a thud, and sighed.

what could he do now?

well, that was all in the past. hajime let komaeda rest in his cottage, then walked him back to his own once he woke up.

hajime processed what he had said a few days ago. those days felt like months, long and treacherous because komaeda never returned the 'i love you'.

instead, the abino had become extra jumbled. his words seemed to become riddles, everything that came out of his mouth had a deeper meaning.

he was obsessed. hajime was obsessed with figuring these riddles out.

he would sit in the diner, poking his food with his fork and debating the meaning of hope and despair. debating what they meant to komaeda.

no doubt, the boy lived for hope. from the bottom of his heart, from the core of his soul, he was only alive for hope. its like he was created to serve hope.

hajime took a sip of his coffee and pursed his lips, letting the bitter liquid slide down his rough throat.

when they were locked in the strawberry house, he offered to get himself eaten. he wanted to feed the hope inside hajime, he wanted to sacrifice himself so hajime would live and learn to spread hope. hajime had turned up his nose in disgust. who would do such a thing?!

komaeda, duh.

the brunette set down his coffee cup and pursed his lips together. he had been able to decipher what komaeda had meant about how hopeful his death would be, and even though hajime wanted to say that he was wrong, that komaeda had so much to live for, they both knew that was wrong.

no matter how many times hajime told himself to trust komaeda about his sickness being a lie, he couldn't bring himself to drop the subject.

hajime slowly realized his surroundings. no, he wasn't enjoying a bitter coffee. that was yesterday.

he was following komaeda to his cottage. komaeda was a blushing mess, his hands gripped tightly by his sides.

oh, right. they had made out in the theater and got caught by monokuma. he had said something along the lines of, "put your dicks back in your pants and go do something productive!" his red eye was glowing and his claws were sheathed. they were both frightened, worried that he would do something drastic. so, they decided to run out of the theater and to komaeda's cottage, where they could peacefully finish where they left off.

komaeda's breath hitched and he bit his lip. hajime stopped, looking over at him. his eyes curiously wandered over his body, his eyes slightly squinted as he asked, "are you ok?"

it took komaeda a while to respond.

"i'm just your sex toy."

those words were filled with despair. his eyes were clouded again and his hands were white. he started shaking.

"no, nagito, you aren't. i care about you and-"

"hinata-kun, you don't need to keep lying to me. i understand now. why don't i go help you out," komaeda pointed to hajime's pants, "then you can hurry and leave, ok?"

hajime shook his head. "ko, i don't want you like that. i mean, i do, but i want you in other ways. i want to cuddle you, i want to kiss you, i want to hug you, i want us to be happy," hajime rambled. komaeda paused, pursing his lips.

"i do too," he whispered.

"why don't we go and be happy, then? together?" hajime offered, pointing to komaeda's cottage's door. komaeda shakily nodded, swallowing thickly. "so, you don't just want me in that way?" he asked hesitantly.

"of course not!" hajime snapped. the words came out angrier than he had intended them to. he wanted them to be comforting, to be loving.

when they both entered komaeda's cottage, hajime took off his shoes and sat down on the bed. "but... maybe we should start where we left off?" he asked warily.

komaeda nodded, removing his jacket. "but lets not take it all the way," hajime continued, letting komaeda crawl on top of him, "lets end it before it becomes dangerous."

"yes, hinata-kun," komaeda answered emotionalessly. he ran a hand up hinata's cheek, kissing his forehead.

hajime pulled komaeda down onto the bed, kissing him roughly. he tugged at the albino's hair, the kiss deepening slightly. komaeda bit his lip, causing hajime to gasp.

the albino slid his tongue into hajime's mouth hesitantly. hajime stifled a moan and wrapped his legs around komaeda. they continued like this for a few more minutes, spitting apart for seconds to catch their breath, but then quickly reattaching.

komaeda split them apart one final time, collapsing next to hajime. hajime ran a hand through his hair, panting lightly.

"thank you..." komaeda whispered, not looking up towards hajime. the albino just buried his head into hajime's side, breathing in his scent. "thank you for showing me this new hope."

hajime nodded. "its nothing. i enjoy it, every minute of it," hajime answered truthfully.

he wanted to say something along the lines of, "i love every second of it. i love when our bodies melt together and i'm filled with emotions that i can only feel when i'm kissing you..."

but wasn't that a little creepy? well, to hajime it was, but to komaeda it was normal. its like the boy didn't care what other people thought of him.

komaeda wrapped his arms around hajime's waist, smiling. his smile seemed to wash away all of hajime's fears, like some sort of magic.

time passed quickly, hajime and komaeda sitting in the quiet of the albino's cottage, snuggling. everything seemed at ease, everything was going so well...

komaeda started to softly snore, his chest rising up and down in deep, relaxed breaths. it was not long until hajime fell asleep as well.

the next morning, komaeda was gone, leaving hajime alone in his room. wait- weren't they just in komaeda's room? together?

"wh-what?" hajime muttered, his eyes narrowing and his lips twisting into a small frown. he missed the warmth that komaeda's body gave him. of course, he didn't actually warm him up, but his heart seemed to beat so fast it lit up, it was like it was on fire.

hajime sighed and pulled himself out of bed, his shoulders aching.

he decided he would go find komaeda. that was the most logical thing to do, considering the fact that he wanted to know how he had gotten from komaeda's room to his own room in the middle of the night.

pulling himself out of bed was rather easy. his head was pounding and his vision went white, but quickly returned as the blood rushed out of his head. he slipped on some shoes, since he slept in his clothes last night, and fixed up his spiky hair.

walking out of his cottage, hajime took a second to breath. everything had been so intense lately, from being caught with komaeda to the albino's crazy words, making him believe he was as stupid as a goldfish. hajime would think so deeply on one part of the riddle, and within seconds, he'd forget the other words. its like he really did have the mind of a goldfish.

i digress. hajime left the cottage and strutted to the diner, taking shallow breaths. something was off, he could feel it.

from the way the sun heated up his body, from the way the wind blew, he knew something was wrong.

he continued walking, grimly staring at the ground. his footsteps were heavy, like the world was weighing down on his shoulders. 

he shook his head and made his way into the diner, frowning softly.

it was empty, other than a certain luckster filling up a seat and slowly drinking a creamy coffee.

hajime debated sitting with him or not. his mind fought with itself, telling him how weak he was.

"hello, hinata-kun."

his voice was dark. hajime could hear the sadness that weighed down his words like weights.

it hit hajime like a stack of bricks. he hated to see komaeda so upset. maybe he was the reason today was so off?

"it's quite hot today."

hajime gave komaeda a stiff nod in response. komaeda sat in silence for a few minutes, his eyes slowly traveling from the ground up to hajime's body.

he could feel komaeda's judging stares. each time komaeda's eyes moved on hajime's thin figure, he could sense it. the skin would feel like it was been set aflame. it was strange how one set of eyes could cause such a feeling. such a sensation.

hajime swallowed nervously. his olive eyes met komaeda's emotionless ones.

"i better be going."

komaeda swiftly lifted himself out of his seat, leaving his coffee on the table. before he could briskly walk past hajime, the brunette grabbed his shoulder and kissed him.

komaeda didn't kiss back. he kept his eyes open, watching hajime with judgmental eyes.

"its strange that you're kissing trash like me," he stated. "oh, wait. its strange i'm kissing you."

hajime paused, his grip on komaeda's shoulder becoming tighter. "what?" he breathed, his eyebrows slightly raised and his heart skipping a couple beats.

"reserve course student."

and komaeda left. no explanation. he just left.

he left hajime in the diner, emotionlessly. it stung, that's for damn sure.

hajime's brain stopped working and his eyes widened. shock. was that the feeling that he was feeling? 

no. it was much deeper. hot flames of embarrassment engulfed him into a sea of guilt. the waves of despair rolled up and hit him hard, causing him to double over in an indescribable emotional struggle.

his eyes stung. he had forgotten to blink, of course. once he did, they burned even more. no, its not because he forgot to blink...

tears. why was he crying? was it the pain of learning he was talentless? or was it the fact that the boy he cared about, the boy who's smile washed away his worries, that one boy... he may leave him forever. just because of how normal he was. no, no! everything was moving way too fast, hajime couldn't let komaeda leave him!

wait, what? hajime internally laughed. well, not really. even if it was just internal, he would have felt a great guilt afterwards and would have possible regretted it.

komaeda, he wasn't leaving forever! he wasn't going to die! no way, hajime told himself, he would stay alive for hope...

he would die for hope.

hajime coughed. why were these thoughts hitting him now? was it the grim way komaeda has greeted him, was it how his smile had recently started giving him a pain in his chest, like someone replaced his beating heart with a heated stone?

fire. hajime smelt fire. wait, fire?

hajime slowly got up, the world turning to a chilling white as the blood rushed to his head. he cringed and squinted his eyes, trying to see through the cold color that was almost as boring as him.

he eventually was able to see the room again, and quickly scrambled to the door. how long had he been doubled over for? he checked the clock.

fifteen minutes. how was that even possible? had he possibly passed out over a simple heartbreak?

immediately as hajime yanked the doors open, he was greeted with dark smoke and the smell of firewood.

oh god, no.

hajime ran. he ran towards the smoke, which was coming from somewhere behind the cottages. no one was there, and as eerie and it seemed, hajime felt it coming. he knew komaeda had led everyone else out of the area before hand.

hajime felt his knees grow weak, and his arms felt limp. his mouth became dry from pure fear and from him panting. his eyes were watering like mad, occasionally tears would trickle down his cheeks and hajime would recklessly wipe them away.

he reached komaeda before he had walked into the flames. hajime thanked the universe for making komaeda work so slowly.

he could hear silent sobs. he wasn't sure who they belonged to, but they were filled with dread and despair.

"shut up." komaeda hissed, his eyes narrowing. hajime shook his head and bit his lip, trying to keep himself from crying.

"why...?" thats all hajime could say. that one word was so cold, so alone, it made komaeda pity hajime even more. "i explained it to you before. what, you couldn't remember?" komaeda gave a mocking laugh, "of course not, you're just a reserve course student."

there was a pause. komaeda's smile faltered and he took a step away from hajime.

"hinata, leave, this will become bloody and gruesome-"

"don't pl... please!" hajime begged, grabbing the back of komaedas jacket. komaeda turned around, sharply. "leave, hinata-kun!"

hajime didn't budge. "please, don't!-"

"you really are stupid, aren't you? i was hoping that you'd be smarter than the average reserve course student, but i was obviously wrong," komaeda hissed, his eyes hidden behind his hair.

hajime shook his head. "please, explain to me what you mean by that!" he pleaded, "just... just don't do this," hajime extended a hand towards the fire. "just stay here with me."

when komaeda looked up through his hair, tears were heavily falling down his pale cheeks. hajime pulled him into his arms, closing his eyes and stopping his crying. komaeda's tears wet part of hajime's shirt, so he slowly moved his head into the crook of hajime's neck. he muttered "sorrys" and "stops" into hajime's shoulder, and hajime only responded with a head shake. "don't be. you're still alive."

komaeda and hajime stayed like that for a while. until, that is, komaeda completely froze. he stayed silent for a while, his head slowly lifting from hajime's shoulder. "aha, why am i listening to a reserve course student? a predictable, boring, normal person who does not deserve to be in such a school?"

hajime choked on his words. the air he inhaled seem to get caught in his throat and his nose was clogged with mucus from the earlier sobbing.

"haha! wow, i can't believe you got away with that!" komaeda laughed. his laugh was so peaceful, it was so nice.

"i'll make it up to you," hajime sighed, pursing his lips. he knew this was unlike him, but what else could he do? he kinda felt bad.

wait, no he didn't, he had just saved this guys life. why wasn't komaeda thanking him?

"let me finish this in peace, then we are even."

hajime shook his head. "anything but that!"

komaeda shrugged. "i guess the deal can't be made fairly, then."

komaeda shoved hajime to the ground and ran towards the fire. hajime's eyes widened as he shouted profanities at him, yelling about how they would both die.

komaeda shrugged. "i don't care about that, hinata," the sudden use of his last name without the honorific made hajime's heart hurt, "well, i do. because that way, we both die in hopeful ways! we both die in the name of hope!"

komaeda looked back at hajime one last time. "and, if you remember correctly, despair is a stepping stone to hope. if you fall into despair over my death, then you will have to gain hope to forget about it. this truly is a hopeful situation!"

the world seemed to slow down.

komaeda jumped into the fire. his smile widened as the pain settled in, as his clothes slowly turned to dust.

hajime cried, telling him to get out, telling him that he wanted them to just be happy. komaeda obviously couldn't hear him. well, he could, its just the boy seemed to have selective hearing and was choosing to ignore hajime.

hajime took in labored breaths as he continued to sob, holding himself as he sank into the sand. tears ran from his eyes, down his red cheeks, and all the way down his chin. they fell into the hot sand, immediately drying up under the warming sun.

hajime attempted to move, but he couldn't. he was paralyzed with fear.

hajime watched as komaeda slowly rotted away. his skin, as thin as paper, caught aflame and started to flake. hajime cried out in pain, attempting to verbally stop him, but it was in vain.

nagito komaeda was going to die, and he was to blame.

he was going to be executed for trying to stop him from dying. he was going to die.

he was going to fade away from everyone's memories, and just disappear. all because he wanted to save the twisted boy from turning himself into dust.

the fire died down and komaeda's body fell limp to the ground, his skin burnt and his eyes glued closed. hajime scurried over to his body, checking for a pulse.

there was none.

komaeda nagito was dead.

hajime violently shook komaeda, his voice hoarse and weak. tears fell onto komaeda's burnt body, sizzling as they made contact with his clothing and skin.

he heard someone else shout. they were back already. nononono, no! komaeda can't be dead! this is- its a dream, right?

souda stared at the fire and komaeda, fear written clearly on his face. "h-hajime k-k-killed the c-creep!" he shouted again, pointing a finger at a sobbing, shaking hajime.

sonia was the second to arrive. "no, i think..." hajime looked up at sonia, his entire body shaking and his eyes bloodshot and watery, "i think something else has happened."

as everyone else arrived, hajime began to grow more lightheaded.

he was going to die as well. he was the last person to talk, to touch, to see komaeda before he jumped into the fire.

hajime hinata looked down at komaeda's frail body, a small smile tugging at his chapped lips.

"i'll see you soon, nagito."


End file.
